Bad Mama

*sigh*

Am I the worst Mom in the world or do I just feel that way?

I hate it when I lose my temper and fly off the handle at my kids. They don't always deserve it. Not always, a lot of the time yes, but not always.

Like this morning.

Everything was going pretty well, really. They had ate their breakfast, made their beds, brushed their teeth, got dressed, drew some pictures, played with each other with little bodily injury suffered and then....

Then the moment , which is a hot-button issue between P and me arrived.

Getting dressed to go to school. Do you think we can ever get through this little exercise without somebody yelling, pouting, crying, stamping feet and "HHMMPPHH"-ing.... and P gets mad too sometimes. No, seriously though. It's always a struggle and no matter what I threaten and how many parenting manuals I read I can't seem to find anything that works well. (I don't negotiate with terrorists....)

Well, it was me this morning that had the tantrum.

Husband has 8:30 class, I'm getting a cold, hormones are currently ummmmm... haywire and I just couldn't handle the least glitch in the getting-dressed-for-school drama. Maybe I was anticipating it too. So, I lost my temper, feel horrible and my children think I'm crazy.

I want to crawl under my bed for awhile.
*sigh*
By the way - the picture above was not from this morning but after a nasty fall in December. So, I'm not responsible for that particular face. A different one, but not that specific one.

I did apologize to him and said we have to do better the rest of the day. So, if I can concentrate on the rest of the day and not that little incident, maybe I'll feel better about my MOM-skills. It's so easy to think about what you didn't do just right versus all the things you did do right at the end of the day.

This was heavy, eh?

Spring is on the way.

...Time goes by so slowly for those who wait....

All I have to say folks is "AHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh".

That was a truly contented Jack-Jack fix enduced sigh.

I feel like all is right with the world and my electrolytes are back in balance.

Eight o'clock can't come fast enough.

Tonight's THE Night!

This is it!

The night I've been waiting three months for.... the anticipation is almost too much to bare. How can I get through the humdrum of today without losing it. The teasing over the past couple of weeks has been a nice build-up - but now it's here.

I washed and did my hair, somebody's in charge of the children, refreshments have been carefully selected, a back-up plan B has also been formulated (just in case of some unforseen act of God...). Everything is in place.


Jack Bauer and I will finally be reunited after months of abstinence...

OK OK. Maybe there were some reruns hidden in there from time to time, you know, to get me through the rough spots.

The premiere is going to be incredible. Two whole Jack-packed hours tonight and THEN THEN two more Jack saturated hours on monday night!!! I must say, kudos to FOX for hooking us already hookees but this will draw any non-braindead viewer in a 20 channel radius. The power of Bauer will reign!!!

*pant*pant*pant*

hee hee.

I can't wait until 7 pacific/8pm central. I'm gonna burst!

... in her giddiness, she couldn't decide where she would sleep when the scrapbook store shut out its lights... 

Memoirs of a Goober

Last night I finally got to see "Memoirs of a Geisha" after a failed attempt just before Christmas... Let me just say, it was worth the wait.

I read the book this summer, while I was very much pregnant and on guard duty at the top of the stairs, and thought the while "Hey, this would make an incredible movie!" Low and behold, it arrived on the scene. They were probably making it when I was reading it. I hope it wins some awards this year because it was very well done and didn't stray too far from the book, which is rare.

Academy, are you listening?

But, alas, I went to the late show and am now suffering the after-effects... De-caff be damned!

Welcome Baby New Year! 

Look what I did....

My kids are gonna kill me when they get older.

Either they'll think "hey, cool... but we don't need to be bringing these out when Josh gets here, riiiigghhht??" or "MOTHER. You were even annoying way back then, only I couldn't protest, just drool on myself...."

AWWW Man. What a day. Calorie deprived, caffeine deprived, sunlight deprived = crazy fly-off-the-handle for next to nothing lady. Lucky husband who was challenging my authority in front of my children who already challenge it enough on their own - thank you very much. Now I feel compelled to go and say "sorry" - but.... I don't want to. So, I'm going to sit here and eat my 13 gingersnaps and drink my de-caff and stew. I wish someone was on-line so I could have a real good rant!

*sigh*

frickin de-caff.

Happy Hoppy new Year to Y'all

Happy January.

Ok, I'm experiencing the post-christmas blues. The melancholy chore of taking down all my beautiful decorations and my cute tree. ( a symphony of colour and sparkle in the gloom of -30c) Now cold, stark January hangs over the house.

I had a mental collaspe a couple of days ago, I think it had to do with having to go back to "normal" life. (whatever that is...) My brain was filled with resolutions, good intentions and to-do lists. Have you ever noticed how much CRAP you or society puts in your head and how the constant chatter overwhelms?

For example:

Ok here's a version of what I'm trying to explain -

I should try to go outside more, I'm sure the air would do me good, much less tv too, chocolate should be eaten in moderation but it's like sex, no? I eat chocolate way more often. Drive BY the fast food places, avert your eyes from those Big Bacon classics. Keep up on your scrapbooks,
blog and layer of dust that sometimes covers the house.
Be regular - eat your bran, eat yogourt with active bacteria cultures, pluck your eyebrows - it opens up your face. Exfoliate. Don't chew your fingernails but remember to cut your toenails, cause even if they look nicer with polish when longer, they may inflict lacerations to your spouse on a cold night. Get a proper fitting bra, be thankful, eliminate split-ends by getting a good cut every4-6weeks. Change the furnace filter every 6 mths prolonging the life of the furnace and boosting its eff. Use cold water to do the laundry. Keep the receipt. Boil the bones for soup, filter the water, grind the coffee. Recycle. What? We're out of Peanut butter again?

see, I'm crazy.
mental word vommit.
enough of that.

But, OK. Good things about Jan.

1. award show season starts anda whole slew of new dresses to critique.
2. the new 24 season starts - JACK is BACK ( for anyone who follows the show-you understand)
3. I don't feel guilty about not going outside.
4. a whole new year of days and seasons and endless possibility awaits.
5. glittery snow
6. holiday movie release spill-over
7. ummmmm.....

that's all I can think of right now. I'm working under food deprevation so my brain is still on dial-up, forgive me if I'm not sooooo clever and creative. Once my body figures out that I will survive without consuming 2 lbs of fudge a day, my sharp senses will return... until then lock up the M&M's.